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Men who feel attracted to other men in an esthetic and non-sexual way

Men who feel attracted to other men in an esthetic and non-sexual way

With regard to Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD), it is true that the content of the obsessive thoughts have a meaning and symbolize something profoundly important.

In the movie “Alexander the Great” (Oliver Stone, 2004), whose character is depicted by Collin Farrell, there is a moment in which we can see how the great Macedonian conqueror has sex with a young ephebe, besides having sex with many women, which is according to the movie, the gender he really prefers.

Now, let’s make a small jump and let’s explore two possibilities:

1. A young heterosexual man with very high levels of testosterone.

Is it possible that his brain on a more primal level doesn’t distinguish that much between a handsome men and a handsome woman? Who is more feminine: A languid 20-years-old handsome guy or a highly muscled 20-years-old woman with strong shoulders due to the fact that she practices certain sports? Our rational mind is able to differentiate between sexes but how about our primitive mind? Is it possible that this situation causes internal confusion which then leads us to an internal conflict?

Until not very long ago, in some countries it was the active man (the one who penetrates), and who had sex with both men and women, who was seen as a “macho” man, as long as he wasn’t the one who “received”.

Actually, in the animal world this still happens. In some species the macho alphas have the right to possess both male and female clan betas. Is it therefore possible that an excessiveness of heterosexuality causes someone to be attracted to feminine guys?

2. A heterosexual guy with a repressed high level of sensibility.

It is possible that a man who is completely heterosexual possesses, being more or less aware of this fact, an enormous esthetic sensibility; a sensibility which indicates an elevated dimension of his soul? Beauty in any form is a source of admiration for anyone, and people who had to repress their feminine side (both men and women) can recognize it in both sexes; a phenomenon which has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Actually, they are able to appreciate and recognize beauty in any situation: in a landscape, in a piece of art, and also but not exclusively in both man and woman.

There are men who have been treated like dogs who got maltreated, good dogs but spoiled through humiliation, vexation, insults, or fear which obligated them to shut down their more sensitive side.

Fathers who acted as dictators, tyrants and cruel beings who, due to the fact that they are insignificant and incapable to do anything else, have converted their male son in the object of their despise, turning them into a robot-like creature which acts in a semi-automatic way, and is in constant state of alert, because of him constantly facing this delirium-like state of his dad.

Bullies at school who have taken girls and guys to a point in which they became completely blocked and had to hold back their true sensitive, though heterosexual, self.

How to know if I am homosexual

To be able to recognize beauty in a person of the same sex only means that you are a subtle and sensitive person.
It is even possible that you would like to kiss the beauty you perceive, to hug it, to touch it, but without actually wanting to engage in sex.

Even if you notice sexual excitement in your genitals, this doesn’t matter. This is simply the consequence of a nervous alteration which is caused by the fear that this person might attract you, nothing more nothing less.

There have been many artists throughout the history: painters, photographers, and writers, who, even though they were firmly heterosexual, have given shape to pieces of art in which they appreciated male beauty. For example the “David” of Michelangelo, is one of the most beautiful sculpture ever made, and is admired by thousands of people every year. Many of these people are heterosexual men who are fascinated by the splendid perfection of his body.

But without going any further. Why are most male actors in movies attractive? Just because of the female spectators? Yes, but also because we men identify ourselves with them. Because if they would show us ugly men, unless it would be a comedy, we wouldn’t go and see the movie. It wouldn’t interest us. Intriguing isn’t it?

That’s why what you have to do is to liberate those parts of you which are blocked or collapsed. Once you’ll do that you will see that you are and have been fully heterosexual.

Damián Ruiz

Clinical Psychologist

Jungian Analyst

Director of IPITIA